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…and that’s not a bad thing.
We advance and as we mature, we change. How we change starts to affect the things around you. Part of that factor of maturing is that the relationships you are in also change. Sometimes you and the relationship evolve and you become something better, stronger. You stay together and you make magic.
Unfortunately, sometimes that doesn’t happen. Instead things end and you and the one you were in this relationship with go your separate ways. And you know what, when that happens and things end, that’s not necessarily bad. If you’re lucky you part amicably and wish each other well. And when you think of each other in silent moments, you do it with a smile and hope they are happy.
Hell I should be so lucky when it came to ex-girlfriends. For the record, I was not. So let’s move on.
I’m not going to mention that I still have the scar from the time I was stabbed in the arm with the fork as she told me she loved me. If she really loved me she would have stabbed me with a spoon.*
If you’ve read this blog before, it’s no surprise. And if this is the first time you’ve read this blog, thank you and spoiler alert. The genre I wanted to make a successful living as a writer was the fantasy genre. I wanted to write about realms of magic and myth and show you a world worthy of J.R.R. Tolkien. I was in love with the concept of fantasy, until I wasn’t.
Now before going forward I want to preface that I’m not insulting or knocking anyone who writes in that genre, or if they have stayed with it, I’m not saying that they have not matured. That is not what I am saying. What I am trying to state is this is my journey, my path. It doesn’t make me better and I’m not trying to make myself superior to other writers. That just could not happen. This is just about how I developed and changed. If I might be bold, my evolution is what worked for me and has made me not only a better writer, I think, but a better Vince. Of course that doesn’t make me a nice guy either, but I’ll let you judge.
In high school and early University I wanted to be a writer and I always thought if I succeeded it would be in the fantasy genre. I could not get enough of it. Tolkien, Dennis L. McKiernan and the series of books that TSR (the original company that created Dungeons and Dragons) published in the Dragonlance realm. I devoured fantasy and I wanted to live it, which is probably why I got into Dungeons and Dragons (yes I’m repeating myself, I know, sorry, it could be worse you could live with me – just ask my poor wife Beverly) or just DnD, as I will reference it as. I started developing my world where my character would live and fight in. I came up with quests and magic and kingdoms. I even had some of my players beta test my world so that as I developed it they would help. And also some of the more serious players I collaborated with had played in other more established worlds.
Sometimes I feel a sense of loss because of what I left behind, especially when I think about the unfinished stories I started, particularly my first attempted novel The Dragon’s Heart (for what it’s worth it was cliché ridden crap with a horrible surprise ending that would have not surprised anyone, alas). But there were cool aspects that with time could have led to better stories. And I did base my fantasy gaming world on that, and vice versa. I guess I’m just a sentimentalist, but I will admit those feelings are akin to how I feel when I think of the friends I had and we drifted. Some by distance, some changing attitudes, and one or two I distanced myself from because of my own mental health. So it goes.
But you know, that’s the past, and I’ll always feel a sense of whimsy and romance. But it’s time to move forward and explore and expand the future. These things are left behind for a reason. Good or bad, I made my choice and I’m happy. And I think that is what matters.
Strange thing is I gained some of my friends back, thanks to social media, mainly Facebook (in particular, shout outs to Rich and Revia). We’re in contact again and who knows maybe we can get a game going using this marvelous new invention: Tthe wide world internet thingy. Best use it quickly, I hear it’s a fad that might go away.
As a writer I fell out of love with the fantasy genre, not so much as to rid my whole self of it, but because I didn’t love it enough to keep writing that type of story, so I moved away. I found me and in doing so I found a new way of writing and what stories I wanted to tell.
But you never forget your first love.
What genre did you start writing in? Do you still write in that genre or did you move away from it? Perhaps you’re a talented writer who can write in different genres and transcend them. If so, I’d like to hear about that. And what do you love about the genre you write in? I’d like to know.
*Two points if you get the reference